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Posted by TamChronin at 09:43:56 23/07/2004.
The usual notes and disclaimers apply. I don't own the characters or settings contained in this work of fan fiction. Yes, I doublechecked to make sure Gravitation was on the list before posting, even after Xandra assured me it was. ~laughs~ Please read this and let me know what you think. I know this comes as a surprise, but bear with me...it's a run-away plot bunny that won't let me go!
Rhythm of Rain The tap of the keys was the only sound in the house for about an hour that morning before the "pi pi pi pi pi" of Shuichi's alarm clock went off. I sighed in irritation as it seemed to go on forever, looking up and across the room at the window. It was a dark day, and there would be rain later--those were the kinds of days he had the hardest time getting out of bed. He's solar powered, I swear. He's always hyper when the sun is shining, and bounces out of bed. That day though, I heard him groan softly and finally hit the button on the alarm. My train of thought was completely broken, so I saved and got up, glancing at the words on the screen before I left. I didn't know yet if I was happy with any of them...I'd have to separate myself from them for a while first. I felt okay about them so far though. Nothing spectacular, but the girls would eat them up. I was in the kitchen when he finally stumbled into the world of the living, dragging his feet. "Ohayo, Yuki," he mumbled, and I knew there was something beyond the lack of sunshine. I quietly handed him a mug of coffee, with just as much sugar as he liked. I don't know how he could stand it that sweet, but as long as it didn't have to go in my mouth I didn't care. I waited for him to start whining about whatever it was that was bothering him. It had to be a dream he'd had. He had been his usual bright and bouncy self last night. Hadn't he? God...all I could remember about last night was that he'd gotten on my nerves...he had a talent for that. He had a way of finding everything that was bothering me and stomping all over it without knowing anything about it. Then he'd smile innocently and ask what was wrong, and all I could do was walk away. But that never had him moping like this before. So, I waited. It was a law of the universe that Shindou Shuichi could not hold anything in. He'd explode if he was happy, if he was sad, or if he was just plain bored. He wasn't exploding, or in any other way letting me know what was wrong. I frowned and took a step closer to him, pressing my wrist to his forehead. No, he wasn't running a fever. And, of course, the very act of checking made him look up at me with large sparkling eyes. The kind that say, "Wow, you really do care about me!" The kind that irritate the piss out of me, because of course I care, and he knows it. "Yuki," he began in that star struck voice. "Just tell me what's wrong," I said, wanting to put an end to that as fast as I could. We'd been together for about two years at that point, and that should have been enough time for him to realize a) I wasn't going to just throw him out on his ass, no matter how many times I threatened to, b) I was capable of showing affection and he didn't have to go into "fangirl" mode when I did, and c) it irritated the hell out of me when he did go into "fangirl" mode. It worked. He slumped and leaned dispiritedly against me. "The same thing that's always wrong. We need a new song...and this time they told me I'm not allowed to even try to write the lyrics. Not for even one song that's going to be on the album. I was so happy that there will be another album, but they keep saying after last time...after last time...." "What do you expect me to do about it?" He hadn't improved a bit in a year. Not one little bit. "But the song I just wrote is GOOD! I swear it is! I promise! It's the lyrics I just finished last night and they're good but they won't even give them a chance." He was whining again. I didn't want to be in the middle of this. I've told him countless times that his lyrics suck. It's true. They're amateurish and simplistic and choppy. They have no emotion. It's like he's writing about something he heard about from his sister's boyfriend's cousin's brother rather than what he feels himself. I told him to quit the first time we met, and I stand by that opinion. But, if I told him that now I'd have to listen to him whine the rest of the morning until he had to leave...and maybe for another week, or month, or however long it took to get it out of his system. I kept my mouth shut, looking through the cabinets for a breakfast I wasn't interested in eating. Luckily enough, Shuichi looked into one of the cabinets over my shoulder. "Yuki! Could you please give me the cereal? And the milk? And a bowl? And a spoon?" He added each additional question as I brought him the previous item, stretching things out. At least he was happy--though by the end I wanted to throw the spoon at him. Couldn't he either wait for me to get everything, or ask all at once? So many ways that he was just so immature and annoying.... "Shuichi, shut up and eat." I lit a cigarette--coffee and a cigarette, staple breakfast of writers the world over. "Waaa...how can I eat when I'm so depressed about my wonderful song, being consigned to death?" He slumped almost into the bowl. Did I say almost? He slumped until his nose got milk onto it. He jumped up at that point and wiped it off, but I saw on his face that he was going to just keep going on and on about his new song. "I suppose you want me to look at it and tell them how much you've improved." "Would you please?" His eyes went shiny and round, sparkling as if I'd given him the greatest present of his life or something. Damn it. I didn't have a choice at that point. He practically ran to get the piece of paper I now remember him scribbling on the night before. He thrust it excitedly in my face, waving it around so I couldn't make it out, until I grabbed it from him. "Ne? Ne? Isn't it the greatest? It's better than anything ever before!" "Shuichi--" I sighed, walking out of the room. I don't make it a habit of keeping my reading glasses in the kitchen, and his handwriting was in illegible scrawl even in the best of times. I rubbed my temple as I walked back to the bedroom, where my glasses were sitting on top of the book I'd read myself to sleep with last night. He was on my heels the whole time, begging an opinion. "Shut up," I finally had to tell him. "I can't concentrate if you keep asking me what I think." It bought me a few minutes, but unfortunately the verdict was already in. When I said he had zero talent, I had no idea at the time how true it was. Shuichi worked magic with turning any lyrics into something that people wanted to hear, but looking at them on this piece of paper.... "It's crap." "You didn't even give it a chance! You have to imagine the music with it, or--" "It's better crap than you've written before, but it's still--" "Yuki! How can you say things like that to me? You're always so mean to--" "I'm not going to lie to you just to make you feel better about something when you have nothing to feel good about!" He shut up right away, looking like a whipped puppy just because I yelled. He looked up at me like he was going to cry for a minute, and then he turned and ran from the apartment, slamming the door behind him. I thought I could hear him crying for a block and a half. That's the last thing I wanted, but I didn't see a way around it. I folded the paper in half and set it inside the book I was reading so it wouldn't get lost. Maybe with the right music it really would be worth something. He'd done it before. He really was talented for all he acted like a child most of the time. It was hard to remember sometimes that he wasn't the stupid, silly, innocent child he acted like sometimes. Sometimes he was so much more.... But, at the time all I saw was that. He'd pissed me off and irritated the hell out of me and then he'd left. Thrown a childish tantrum. He was a nuisance, and I wondered why I put up with him. Oh, no, I knew why I put up with him...maybe I wondered if it was worth it. Except, I'd decided long ago that it was worth it. So, I didn't get the locks changed, though the thought was there. It wouldn't help anyway. He's the kind who would pound down the door, break through the wall, or just be loud and obnoxious until I went insane and let him in anyway. This was the story of my life, it seemed. Ah, well, it was a better story than before at least, and I wouldn't have changed it. I sighed and walked back to my office, looking at the computer with a wary gaze. I just didn't like the story I was working on right now. I would like it in a few chapters, and I liked it a few chapters ago, but right now it felt like slogging through mud up to my knees. I just hoped it didn't read like that to everyone else. Well, that's what editing and rewrites are for. I went on writing the transition, setting things up for things to come, hinting at plot twists and establishing character interactions. Tedious work that had to be done, but was always my least favorite part of writing. It didn't help that I was distracted. I stared at the screen, idly tapping the keys until the sentences formed. I'd hit a rhythm to it when I noticed it was raining outside. I didn't pay that much attention to it though. I just kept typing, letting the words come out while they could because it would be hard to get back into a part of the story I didn't like this much. When the phone rang I almost ignored it in my determination to just get this over and done with. Then, I looked at the page and decided I really wanted the distraction, any distraction, before the two characters bickering uselessly on the page drove me insane. "Yes?" "Eiri-san? Is Shuichi-kun there?" I recognized the voice right away. Seguchi Tohma, my brother-in-law and-- No, the rest could remain unsaid for now. I looked at the clock with a frown. "He left about an hour or so ago. If he hasn't shown up, shouldn't K be the one calling?" "The truth is, I wanted to see how you're doing." His concern was perfectly clear over the phone, and I wondered at it. What was he worried about this time? I'm not fragile, I'm not made of glass, and I'd settled into living with Shuichi well now that I wasn't holding everything in and trying to pretend--even to myself--that nothing had happened. It wasn't perfect, but he didn't have to check up on me like this. "I'm fine. It's life as usual around here, and I'm at a tricky part of this novel, if you don't mind." "Okay, I understand," he said lightly. "If Shuichi-kun shows up though, let him know K is polishing his gun collection in anticipation of his return." This time I smiled, almost laughing. I might have laughed if that wasn't such a serious threat actually. I had once thought, when I'd first heard of K and all the things he was known for, that it would be interesting to write a character like him into one of my novels. The more I heard about him though, the less I entertained the thought. No one would believe it. The man was insane, and that opinion was only reinforced when I met him...and he shot at me while I was talking to Shuichi. After that, I decided I might be too tempted to put any character based on him through hell, and I didn't know if that would get back to him...or how he'd react. So, I'd set the idea aside on a somewhat permanent basis. "I'll let him know. Ja." I turned back, only to stare out the window at the dark sky and watch the raindrops hitting the glass and running down. I lit a cigarette and stared for a while, thinking and trying to remember where I had to take this scene. I was getting rid of the real world, refusing to worry about where Shuichi could be, not letting myself think of how cold the rain would be this time of year, and how he'd gone out there in next to nothing-- He forgot his sunglasses. Idiot. What if he was recognized and mobbed. He was too famous for that. Something could go wrong. Too many people knew his face. It was like holding up a neon sign saying, "I'm a rock icon, please molest me!" Damn it, he knew better. It was the middle of the day, and-- I was being paranoid. I lit another cigarette with the butt of the first one, looking at the computer and saving before I stood up to go back to the kitchen. He'd left his cereal out, uneaten. I dumped it down the sink, rinsing it out and turning on the disposal for a few moments. That's why I didn't hear the door the first time. When I turned it off there was a loud banging at the door and I was sure that Shuichi had managed to lock himself out. It was impossible to do without the key, but he probably lost the key in his little temper tantrum. Damn it, so much for dismissing the thought of a locksmith. If a fan--his or mine--got hold of one of those keys it could be anything from annoying to dangerous. So, I ignored the door, letting him worry. Teaching him a lesson in responsibility. Or, hiding my head in the sand, since I really knew it wasn't Shuichi on the other side of that door. The banging intensified, and I turned to walk into one of the back rooms to get away from the noise. That's when I heard it, echoing from the walls and hardwood floors. A voice that distinctively was not Shuichi. "Eiri-san! Open the door!" Tohma. Again. And he sounded on the verge of panic. Oh, God. What could scare him? What could make him sound like this? I opened the door, somewhere between shocked and just plain curious. I was about to ask him what was wrong when I was thrown into total silence by the expression on his face. "Eiri-san...we need to go. Shuichi-kun was hit by a car." God.
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